Tuesday, December 09, 2008
3:08 AM
Its been nearly 2 weeks.
And I have not even sit down & reflect or even the less re-align my life.
Of course today was great,
Shopping with my sisters.
It has been ages since the 3 of us went out together in Singapore.
Shopping.
1 gave birth, the other pregnant.
It was funny seeing how the 3 of us are out and shopping.
How their views have changed over the year.
2008 is coming to an end.
Yet I have not really sit down to do what I should really be doing.
I have to admit.
I have been procrastinating.
Giving excuses and reasons to reason myself out.
This event , That event. SO forth.
Its just like God.
Ive always been filling myself up with this & that.
And God is always somewhere at the back of my mind during my Friday Nights and Weekend.
I get frustrated and grumbled.
But as a matter of fact.
If I really wanted to do it.
I will.
But I am not a type of person where negative things will motivate me.
Im Weird.
Im motivated only after I take the first step.
& this first step is my procrastination moment.
Just like my past essays.
I could only get them done down to the last minute.
With the help of a few break downs.
& also some ciggies.
& also a big leap of Faith somewhere.
Being on the Doulous finally yesterday night.
I was just blown away.
Though I was spiritually quiet.
Something was going through my head.
When I hear about those people passing away recently , the Malaysian coach.
Out of the blue.
I think about my life.
How God has spared my life continuously,
Despite my countless of attempts to quiet my life for good.
I am still wondering what God's plans are for me.
& I think of how He direct my steps "even when I plan them.
Somewhere in between those lines.
It is so hard to fall away from God.
Because
There is always something about him that holds me back.
For once.
This time its for real.
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